Review: Justice League: Throne of Atlantis (2015)

Well, I sat down with some friends and watched Justice League: Throne of Atlantis because we could.

Spoiler: It sucked.

Now, let it be known I'm no expert on Aquaman lore, nor have I read the New 52 comic the movie was based on. This review is also going to be shorter then my average review, since, in all honesty, I don't really have much to say about this movie beyond 'it was really bland'

Like, none of the characters get actual, rich development. Sure, development is implied, but Aquaman doesn't really grow. He just sorta flows with the story impassively, which, being the main character, is bad, since he never really shows any emotional reaction or investment in anything. He just decides to become King of Atlantis because reasons, without a scene of him having an internal debate about who he should be more loyal to: the people who he grew up with on the land and knows, or the strangers with whom he shares genetic stock. They could have had him debating this throughout, questioning if he really should care about Atlantis if he never lived there. But no, instead he's just emo, drinking in bars, talking to the lobsters in the tank (for real. he even gets into a fight over it), and just generally being impassive. I never saw a 'king' in him at any point, just a sailor who needed to shave.

Also, his 'romance' with Mira is just the two of them kissing at the end with, like, NO development at all. They like each other because....because....OH HEY LOOK A GIANT SHARK JUST ATE BLACK MANTA!

The use of the phrase 'Justice League' in the title is misleading, since they feel like background people even when on screen. They're a clutch of unlikable, immature people, who are constantly sniping and bickering, and worshiping Batman like he's Zeus or something. Everyone is more or less incompetent here, since Batman is a god among men, and therefore is ALWAYS right and ALWAYS knows what to do and ALWAYS has the right tool for the job. Superman has none of the good humor or sense of optimism that he used to have, instead now being more like Spock then Clark Kent. Wonder Woman has no depth at all beyond 'proud warrior woman'. Cyborg is just here because he's a walking computer, and his struggle with adjusting to being 90% robot is never addressed. Green Lantern and Captain Marvel--Sorry--I mean 'Shazam' split the 'Jerkass of the Year Award', both being a duo of immature, constantly sarcastic jerks, with Shazam winning the prize for 'most disgustingly immature character'. The Flash has NO personality and brings nothing to the team at all, just kinda darting about in the background for awhile.

The villain is bland and British, which is a shame because he had potential, but that potential isn't even explored and I barely understood his motivations, so I barely understand him. He just kinda yammers on screen and honestly, several dozen times, I zoned out on what he was saying.

So yeah, the movie is lame. It lacks the spark and wit of the DC Animated Universe, lacks the gravitas and drama that Under the Red Hood had, and the stakes that Justice League: Doom had. It's just a waste of time, and it's sad that Aquaman must continue to be locked out of the Cool Superheroes Club because of this.

And I like Aquaman.

Anyways, 1 out of 5 for me.