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Review Date: 22/09/14

So...

I saw Transformers: Age of Extinction.

It wasn't as utterly horrible as everybody made it out to be.

I mean, by no means is it a good film, but it's just not the brain rape that was the previous films. Michael Bay's direction has improved somewhat, since the colors are now somewhat resembling real world colors, and not the ultra-washed out and over-contrasted world of eye rape that the other films inhabited.

Of course, there's still quite a bit of his 'Over-Exposed-Sunset Fetish', and the camera is still shaky and random objects explode without any real logic to them. So yeah.

Moving onto the acting, for the most part, it's okay. Mark Wahlberg is fine in his role, at least being digestible, compared to the utterly detestable and annoying Shia LeBouf. But then again, Wahlberg's character is a deadbeat inventor who threatens the IRS with baseball bats....

Katara from The Last Airbender movie is just as bad as she was in Airbender, so no reason to keep talking about that.

Long story short, the protagonist humans are boring.

However...the villain humans, played by Kelsey Grammar and Stanley Tucci (the latter of whom has a Heel to Face Turn), are both really great, especially since both Grammar and Tucci seem to know what kind of stupid movie their in, and decide to just have fun and enjoy their roles. Grammar is suitably menacing, and Tucci is somewhat like a more preppy, sarcastic Steve Jobs. All in all their the best part of the film.

The robots however, are bland, and uninteresting. It's just a clutch of walking scraps of metal who spout cliches, or are just physical, living, breathing cliches. I just end up wanting the film to go back to Tucci or Grammar, and see what they're doing.

In the end, the film is just that....bland. It isn't as horrible as Dark of the Moon or Revenge of the Fallen, but it isn't enjoyable either.

Also, it's long as fuck.

I give it a 1 out of 5.

But hey, at least we don't get pointless fanservice....

  • Mood: Cheerful
  • Listening to: Genesis

Review Date: 9/23/14

So, as a favor for my sister Phoenix Avalon's birthday (Sep. 22nd if you're wondering), I watched the Richard Gere King David film.

My soul is now dead.

The direction is a complete waste, boring and slow and generally half-assed. The screenplay isn't any better, dispensing with any semblence of Biblical accuracy rather quickly, and just spinning into an abyss of horrible writing.

The acting isn't any better, as Gere is horrifically mistcast. He's trying, but he simply cannot rise above the material at all. As for the rest of the cast, with the exception of Edward Woodward as King Saul and a supporting actor who's name I can't even remember playing a high priest, are all reprehensible or downright forgettable.

The costuming is cheap, looking more like homeless people clothing then biblical clothing, and the sets are equally bare bones. David was a king of a wealthy nation, not some podunk mountain village guys.

Did I mention it completely ignores and rapes entire chunks of the source material? Because it does. I've never seen such an obvious disregard for the source material in ANY book-to-film adaptation EVER. As I'm a Christian, I'd notice stuff like this more then the secular viewer, if only because I read the Bible, and was raised with the original, unedited stories. Suffice to say it pissed me off when they implied that Uriah was abusive to Bathsheba. Screenwriters, the entire point of that story was that David murdered a completely innocent and good man, just so he could make whoopie with that guy's wife. Not some primordial social justice bullshit. Ugh.

In the end, the film is a failure on every level, and, the worst part being that one can barely riff it either. Its bad in none of the amusing or enjoyable ways, and it just leaves your soul empty.

I give it a 0 out of 5 stars.

  • Mood: Cheerful
  • Listening to: Genesis

You know, I kinda remembered this as a better movie.

I rewatched Days of Future Past for the first time today, and to be honest, it really doesn't hold up.

The pacing is lethargic, the dialogue heavy handed, and most of the performances are rather flat. Sure McAvoy and Fassbender are good, but their given rather lackluster material to work with, and aren't given good direction, so more often then not, their supposedly emotional moments come off as lacking.

The heavy handed screenplay doesn't help, since I noticed a lot more pretentiousness in it this time around, what with constant moralizing from Future!Charles, and Past!Charles acting rather immature throughout, especially given the circumstances.

Also, the visual effects aren't that good at all, often seeming only half-rendered.

Overall, the film doesn't hold up like I remembered. The traditional flaws of an X-Men film (bad pacing, heavy handed moralizing, unlikable characters), rear their ugly heads once more, and suck a lot of the rewatchablity from the film.

It's better then the other ones, but really, it's too pretentious for it's own good, and comes across as muddled, confused and plodding.

Yeah, to be honest, I don't like to do these kind of reviews, since they make my initial observations seem dishonest. But trust me, I'm not writing this just to hate. I honestly liked the film the first time I saw it, and while I still feel it has good points, those good points aren't strong enough to keep the film 'rewatchable' in my mind, which is arguably the worst thing a film can do.

I give it a 2 out of 5 now.

  • Mood: Cheerful
  • Listening to: Genesis

Review Date: 9/24/10

First off, spoiler warning for those who haven't seen the pilot yet.

So I saw the pilot of the new Fox show Gotham...

I really liked it!

The acting is pretty damn good, vastly out-pacing the likes of Arrow and Agents of Shield by literally miles. The characters get some good set up and development in the episode, and the shout-outs and foreshadowings, are, for the most part, well done.

Ben McKenzie does a great job as young Jim Gordon, being a stalwart man of morals without looking like a self-righteous egotistical goodie-two-shoes. Instead, he is invested in fighting for good, and is willing to do what it takes, while also being steadfast enough to not compromise his morals.

Donal Logue is a real showstealer as the rough around the edges, jerk with a good heart Harvey Bullock. He really does do a great job at giving a character who is, on the surface, the kind you wish to punch, a real likability and swagger that's infectious. Of course, Bullock has his share of dark secrets and, at best, grey morality, but you can still tell there's a good guy under all that gruffness.

David Mazouz does a great job at playing Bruce Wayne, who is a young boy at this point. Sure he spends most of the episode in a shaken state, but he plays it well, and when we get to see him showing signs of the determination that defines Batman, it works and doesn't feel forced.

Jada Pinkett Smith does a great job as the crime-queen Fish Mooney. She's both seductive and menacing, while also being charmingly over the top in her mannerisms, but not in a way that alienates the viewer. All in all, great work.

The same goes for Cory Michael Smith as Oswald Cobblepot (aka Penguin), who is incredibly sympathetic, while holding an underlying sense of instability and a truly frightening cruel streak hidden under the simpering and paranoid exterior. The writers really did an exceptional job at showing that he's on the path toward evil, while still making his plight a sympathetic one.

The only quibbles I have are with the appearence of Selina Kyle so early in the show, and the fact that Alfred Pennyworth is very rough around the edges. He's a seemingly bitter man, and while I hope this is just a facade he's putting on to be strong for Bruce, I do wish they don't continue this trend and have him soften up as time goes on. As for Kyle, she hold no bearing really to the events of the pilot, nor to the Twin Peaks-ish driving question of who killed Thomas and Martha Wayne. She seems only to be there because we need to show Catwoman's origin. Personally, I would have preferred that they wait until a later episode to introduce her.

The pacing is also rather brisk, hopping along and not really having much breathing time, but I can argue that the writers wished to simply get the set up over and done in the first episode and then let us grow with the characters over the rest of the season.

All in all, I really did love the pilot, and I hope that subsequent episodes maintain this sense of quality.

I give the pilot a five out of five, and I hope to give the series that rating as well once the first season is done.

Here's hoping.

  • Mood: Cheerful
  • Listening to: Genesis

Review Date: 9/26/14

Yeah, huge spoilers here. I just downloaded a torrent because I have no morals.

Moving on.

My opinion was that the pilot was.......okay.

The acting is doable for the most part, with the exception of the two lab assistants, one of whom is an exceptionaly Camp Straight Mexican, and the other a bland red headed girl. They serve minimal purpose beyond suppling Barry with his stuff, and really just come across as annoying.

Barry himself is just fine though. He's nice and likable, and while he probably won't be winning an Emmy yet, he's well on the way towards improving, and his emotions are genuine. Good work.

The Professor in the wheelchair, who'll I'll just call Professor Obvious Bad, is, well, hammy and yet stiff. He just oozes Obvious Bad Guy, who when the twist at the end of the episode comes around, I'm not exactly shocked that he might be a villain. The future part was left field though.

The VFX are fine, better then your average TV VFX, but it isn't exactly gonna blow anybody's mind. The screenplay is so-so, with cheesy dialogue, and somewhat stiff exposition. Its the weakest part of the pilot.

All in all, the pilot does show potential, and its superior to Arrow, that's for sure, but The Flash doesn't have the equal sense of scope and world building that Gotham had.

All in all, a 3 out of 5. Doable as a pilot, and enough to peak my interest, but I'm hoping for some improvements.

  • Mood: Cheerful
  • Listening to: Genesis

Review Date: 22/09/14

So...

I saw Transformers: Age of Extinction.

It wasn't as utterly horrible as everybody made it out to be.

I mean, by no means is it a good film, but it's just not the brain rape that was the previous films. Michael Bay's direction has improved somewhat, since the colors are now somewhat resembling real world colors, and not the ultra-washed out and over-contrasted world of eye rape that the other films inhabited.

Of course, there's still quite a bit of his 'Over-Exposed-Sunset Fetish', and the camera is still shaky and random objects explode without any real logic to them. So yeah.

Moving onto the acting, for the most part, it's okay. Mark Wahlberg is fine in his role, at least being digestible, compared to the utterly detestable and annoying Shia LeBouf. But then again, Wahlberg's character is a deadbeat inventor who threatens the IRS with baseball bats....

Katara from The Last Airbender movie is just as bad as she was in Airbender, so no reason to keep talking about that.

Long story short, the protagonist humans are boring.

However...the villain humans, played by Kelsey Grammar and Stanley Tucci (the latter of whom has a Heel to Face Turn), are both really great, especially since both Grammar and Tucci seem to know what kind of stupid movie their in, and decide to just have fun and enjoy their roles. Grammar is suitably menacing, and Tucci is somewhat like a more preppy, sarcastic Steve Jobs. All in all their the best part of the film.

The robots however, are bland, and uninteresting. It's just a clutch of walking scraps of metal who spout cliches, or are just physical, living, breathing cliches. I just end up wanting the film to go back to Tucci or Grammar, and see what they're doing.

In the end, the film is just that....bland. It isn't as horrible as Dark of the Moon or Revenge of the Fallen, but it isn't enjoyable either.

Also, it's long as fuck.

I give it a 1 out of 5.

But hey, at least we don't get pointless fanservice....

  • Mood: Cheerful
  • Listening to: Genesis

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Bronyman1995
Ben Miranda
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Born-again Christian, a new being in Christ. And Brony and film-fanatic

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